The Serpent’s Call

What if I had only done this. What if this were to happen? What if I had better parents? What if I am not good enough? What if, what if?

Do you hear it calling? What is it saying to you? Are you worthy enough? Do you need saving?

It whispers in your ear. You listen to it every day. You believe the lies that it tells you.

The serpent’s call is to condemn and destroy you. That is the goal, and it will continue to work until you come to this realization.

I believed those lies and I allowed it to destroy many things in my life. I believed the lie that my father told me when I was 9 years old that the only thing that I was good for was sex. That lie led me into a deep dark pit of many promiscuous teen years that led to another lie, that my unborn child was just a clump of tissue.

One lie after another, the snake no longer worked so hard because I took over its job.

Lie after lie for 30 years led me into the biggest lie of all, and almost cost me my life.

Lying on the couch for weeks on end, not sleeping nor eating. Images of all the lies darted toward me one after another so quickly I couldn’t catch my breath. The devil had ahold of me and without any doubt I had bought into it. I got up off the couch with my mind made up, it was like a light switch that had been flipped. No thought of doubt or concern had crossed my mind, just a solution.

As I made my way across the living room towards the bedroom more images flashed in front of me. I saw my lifeless body lying in my bed, I saw my mother crying on her couch, I saw my daughter commit suicide later in her life because of what I had done. Then I saw myself hanging off a cliff holding onto someone’s hand for dear life. Sheer terror ripped across my face as I heard the gnashing of teeth below my feet. Darkness surrounded me and I couldn’t scream but my eyes begged this person not to let go. As I looked up to see who was holding my hand - I saw my face, it was me. I didn’t want to die but I couldn’t take any more of this life. 

I fell to my knees crying out loud, “God help me”.

I heard a voice say to me, “Get up”. So, I did.

“Turn T.V. on”. So, I did.

I saw this lady was walking across a stage talking about things that I could not understand, it might as well have been in a different language. After a few minutes I understood her say, “Say this prayer with me”, and so I did. I had no understanding of what just happened or what the prayer really meant but something changed. I felt different. I felt relief.

At the end of her show, I ordered her books and CD’s and for weeks I delve into them. Then I bought a bible and started reading it as well. Most of the time I couldn’t understand what the bible was saying but the more I read it the clearer it became.

In my late 20’s I had been diagnosed with Manic Depression and two weeks after this experience that depression was lifted off me. Still to this day, 19 years later, the depression has not returned.  I continue to learn God's Word.